So, come August 15th… I packed what I could, and drove off. Literally nowhere to go. I remember going off to McDonald’s to get online, going over to my bestest-friend’s place to drop stuff off and pick stuff up… et cetera. I use my new office-in-car (printer, scanner, laptop, inverter, UPS) to fill out and turn in a job application for Pizza Hut, and take their zillion-question personality survey. Then I went to Wal-Mart to sleep since I remembered that they let people stay overnight. I went there, the parking lot was full flooded with lights and an annoying security guard. It was hard enough trying to sleep in seats that don’t recline (a Fiero is a 2-seater car, btw), and in a fighter-jet style cockpit (half the reason I like it so much)… but to have a security guard come up every few hours asking if I’m “OK”? Kinda annoying, thanks for asking. Then later, I get the message I was dreading – a security guard with a Wal-Mart guy. The guy says that Wal-Mart lets RVs park overnight, not cars. Oh. Well, thanks…
This is your captain speaking. We are experiencing some unexpected turbulence…
The next morning, I wake up, go to McDonald’s, veg away doing… something… (I can’t remember what). I’d been applying to a few places to be a delivery driver, because I found that driving is something I actually enjoy. I never thought I would, since I didn’t get my driver’s license until I was like, 19, just because I didn’t want to drive a huge car. But that Fiero totally made me fall in love with driving. So I go to DMV to get a copy of my driving record to apply at a Me-N-Ed’s. I find that they chose this very month, and that very day (like, 2 days ago), to suspend my license for some ticket I got about a YEAR before I got my license (how do you get a ticket without a license? an electric scooter). So, furious, stuck, hopeless, frustrated, confused, and annoyed, I zip back to my bestest-friend (we’ll call him Quicksilver, or QS for short), QS’s place, and nearly in tears, I ask him if he knew the best way to go out with a bang.
We have just lost cabin pressure.
Quite possible the lowest point in my life, ever, without a doubt. On this day I was already struggling to find a place to sleep for the night, my credit card was over the limit, my bank account was also fighting with being overdrawn from a disgusting series of bank fuckups and unmentioned charges, and now I find that my driver’s license is suspended. It is, in fact, exactly as though the entire world said “FUCK YOU”.
Please brace yourselves for a crash landing.
I spend the next few hours sitting outside QS’s place, talking with him, discussing my failure of a life. We don’t go inside because his mom’s scrappy little piece of shit dog barks endlessly when I’m around. I lay there on the hood of my car looking up at the sky and talking about how I could possibly just end myself. Why didn’t I do it earlier? Why am I still here? Where is this fucked-up life going? How much further could I sink before I hit absolute bottom? Fortunately, as it turned out… I had reached rock bottom.
We hope you enjoyed your flight on Cushy Carefree Life Airlines.
After a long hang-out session of talking and sharing thoughts, and a couple cans of Pepsi, we walked over to a nearby church’s parking lot. It was rather hidden from the main street, and looked half deserted. So I had a place to sleep for the coming nights without needing to worry about Wal-Mart lights or security guards. And for once in a few nights, I slept somewhat well. Woke up the next morning, gathered up my few remaining shreds of dignity, and went to the courthouse to get my goddamn license back. I ended up even having to see a judge with a room full of other traffic-violating scums of the planet. Turns out that ticket was from 2005-ish, when I was driving my electric scooter around, and I didn’t have a helmet for one of my Jack-in-the-Box trips. Oh fucking darn. So I had a failure-to-appear for something I wasn’t even mailed about, or anything… gruh. The judge in her neverending kindness, bumped the fine/fee/whatever down to a total of $110. Yeah… $110, for something I did before I had a license. Fuck tha police. <.<
I have my license back, well, almost. It was early in the morning so I stop by my mom’s place and tell her what’s up. She gives me the $60 (I think?) to get my license back, and get a new copy of my record that doesn’t say “Suspended” on it. She also gives me a box of all the mail she’s gotten for me that she didn’t tell me about (e.g. a fat envelope from DMV saying “Fuck you”). I go down to DMV (yes, all this, evidently on a suspended license…), and get my license the fuck back. I pony up the dough, thankfully provided by my still-somewhat-kind mom, and get a new copy. There’s that piece of shit out of the way!
Well, I put in some other applications, and I get a call from Pizza Hut for an interview while I was sitting at McDonald’s. Holy shit! A fucking interview?!… well, yep! My life’s in the shit, but I pulled it together enough to come in that same day for an interview. At the end, everything seemed to have gone well, so the manager set me up for another interview a few days later. Omfg, I have a job? Maybe…